This weekends foos intake was apparently bad. Or it coulda been the alcohol that was the only to settle my stomach. But there was my healthy foods, then there was the feast/lunch fr 2 days. I had mainly veggies but apparently a little cheese and beans makes me gain weight. And today was going to be me time but I've got company I'd rather not have :| Might have to go shopping so I can be alone

Cottage Cheese and Grilled Tomatoes

Lately I have been on a cottage cheese kick. It tastes great right now, and since its filling and healthy I'll be sad when my taste buds decide it doesn't want it anymore. I find it annoying that I can't seem to stop going through phases of what tastes good and what sound disgusting to put in may mouth. Eggs, for one, right now I cant stand them, But a month and a half ago I was eating them in as many creative ways as possible. This past weekend, in an attempt to control/provide myself with healthy options, I made several foods for our weekend at dress rehearsal. This included asparagus guacamole, which has no avocados in it but tastes the same with a slightly different texture. The fiancee, who is allergic to raw avocados and ill-prepared guacs, loved it and said I had made a new kind of crack for him :) I also brought grilled tomatoes, which I had grilled with garlic and dear goodness they were tasty. And huge, the recipe I was following didn't specify what size to get. My sister requested more for opening weekend, but smaller. I made broccoli too but not much of it got eaten, the fiancee wanted some and then forgot to eat it, but since it smelled like curdled milk after 2 days in the cooler, I'm guessing I should've cooked them my usual way. Last week I managed to go through what I think is a 3 lb tub of cottage cheese since I east it as part of my breakfast. Cottage cheese with chicken soup is yummy. The backyard project is going slowly, because of the health issues I had plus in one weekend away what had been fledgling grass was overtaken by weeds, about 50% of which is this strange oversized clover plant that I have to dig out the roots :| Meh, but hey, weeding the backyard is a source of exercise. I need to remember to pull out and charge my dads drill so I can drill hoes into my soon-to-be compost bin. Also need to drill holes in some old pots so I can plant things in them too and use it to decorate the backyard. I'm excited about the project still. I feel accomplished. TTFN

So the cardiologist says my heart is fine. spoke to another doctor who gives two craps about the person and not the money, whose current regimen for me seems to be fixing my other ills. I hope this means I can start exercising again. Im going to make a concerted effort to post more here :)

Heart trouble

Medical problems galore lately, first started having more palpitations, ended up in the ER twice, and I need to talk to my doctor about whether I have GERDS or a peptic ucler [ad issues for years and then the first tachycardia episode that got me to the er seemed to trigger a full on stomach meltdown] and at one point I dropped 12 lbs in a week because of the stomach problems [water nauseated me, it got so bad]. When I mentioned that to the admitting nurse at the ER the second time around, the super skinny girl smiled and said, "Well that's good." If I hadn't been feeling so horrible I would've thrown her stapler at her head for the ignorance of that statement.

In general nothing has been resolved accept that Ive gotten my stomach to cooperate a little more and put some weight back on [which only made me happy because the weight loss was too quick and hard on my body]. Hopefully soon I will know more.

Recipes to satisfy :)

Tomato and Squash Pie [more like a flat bread]
Warm Red Cabbage with Apple and Caraway Slaw
Lemon Vinaigrette
Broccoli Pesto Pizza
Penne With Spinach Sauce
Chickpea casserole with Lemon and Shallots a personal favorite
Spicy Chickpea Stew
Turkish Yogurt Cake with Figs
Herb garden Potatoes with Fresh Spinach Lemon
Mac n Cheese with Artichokes
Lemon Spinach Pesto Pasta
Egyptian Tomato Soup
Cornmeal Fennel Cookies
Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Herbed Cornmeal Rub
Egg-crisp Polenta with Tomatoes n Mushrooms
Sweet Mustard Chicken Bake I personally would up the [substituted brown] mustard quotient and reduce the honey portion to taste because the honey will strangle the mustard easily
Spinach Tomato Tortellini
Rosemary Ranch Chicken Kabobs
Beer Butt Rosemary Chicken
Cajun Spiced Pork Chops
Black Bean and corn Quessadillas
Fettuccine with Sweet Pepper Cayenne Sauce So frickin tasty and healthy
Grilled zucchini Pizza
Asparagus Guacamole
Spinach Brownies

I think I shall leave it here for now, enjoy!

A project

There's something to be said about physical labor. It's somehow more soothing and satisfying than going to the gym. I recently started reclaiming my parent's backyard from it's jungle of weeds status, and the hard work feels good. It's going to take me the rest of the summer to finish my [somewhat] 'Grand Plan' for it, but I'm excited to have this project. I'm nearly done clearing out all the weeds, and a good deal of it just needs to be disposed of [makes me sad I can't burn it in my state, so much easier]. Part of my plan is to plant a garden, which excites me so much, I've fallen in love with growing things. Before I can even get to that stage I need to start fertilizing the ground, which considering the size of the yard is going to take awhile since even chicken poop is not cheap when you need as much as I do. Already I can feel the muscles working for all my different stages of work, and the good kind of sore I'll be. I want to give a nice backyard to my parents to enjoy during the warmer months, instead of a dust bowl, and since I'm getting married next year [got engaged 2 weeks ago yay] I need to actually do this instead of just dreaming and planning. Not only do I want to start a garden but I'd love to plant flowers for my mom to enjoy.
Does anybody know, btw, how deep a raised bed should be for an herb garden?

Coffee is evil

So I've made a huge lateral move. You keep reading all these articles about what aspartame does to you, right? I decided ok, I'm going to give up soda, because let's face it, I love my diet sodas and drink tons a day. It's convenient, great for downing all my vitamins and supplements, brings in recycle money....yadda. But because I'm trying to be committed to myself and my health, I decided I was going to give it up. Except. Except... I haven't gone completely off of it, I still have some in the evening, [not nearly the amount i was ingesting before], but instead of replacing it with just plain water, I have in fact replaced it with coffee. I'm drinking close to a pot a day, which considering about 2 weeks ago I wasn't drinking coffee on a regular basis, I'm sure I have shocked my system, but also, I drink it with milk. I used to be able to drink it black but for some reason I can't anymore. So while that alien, dangerous mars-goo aspartame is way less in my system, I er... don't think, ok I KNOW, the amount of caffeine that's replaced it is not good.
I keep telling myself I should go back to my 5 pots of tea a day, but my annoying other head-voice keeps pointing out it takes longer to make in the morning, I cant put the grounds on my budding plants, and it takes longer to cool. I mean my large tea pot holds 32-36 oz of tea, which takes me maybe an hour to drink. Maybe. and it's not always convenient to try to make it at my friends house. But hey, those sound like excuses. I figure next week I will start with my tea again, I do well changing my morning routine at the beginning of my week.
The bright side, if any, of the coffee drinking is its helping me to get calcium from a non-supplement source, and it seems to help fill me up.


Goal to Lose: 64
Goal Time: 05/12
Remaing: 61

Its Hardly Working

But I'm going to keep working hard.. My bi polar is having a grand time with me too, doesn't help a bit, does it.
I'm looking into some blogs about Clean Eating, because well, I keep hearing about it, and, I love a good veggie recipe. I've also been inspired recently to plant some beans [and squash] in my front yard, though to the dismay of my mother, it wasn't in a small corner where nothing grows, but scattered along the top of it in order to help heal the soil. I love watching it grow.

One day.

Goal to Lose?: 64
Goal Time: 05/12

Some great-sounding recipes I can't wait to try out:
Brussels Sprouts Hash
Seasoned Brussels Sprouts
Broccoli Mushroom Quiche
Jambalaya
Many more at The Gracious Pantry

Palpitations

So guess what causes episodes of heart arrhythmia? add 50 or so ounces of coffee, add some strenuous physical labor, a warm day, and mix in a most of the day empty stomach... and you have me having tingling in my left hand, followed by the arrhythmia episode while driving and panicking [but trying to breath through it] that I was having a heart attack while driving in traffic on a major street with no way to safely get over [and later reflecting my emergency lights don't work anymore] I realized I wasn't having a heart attack only because there was no pain, just a pounding irregular heartbeat and the inability to breathe correctly for several minutes. I was worried I was instead stroking, and feeling more than guilty that I would be taking out the cars around me once I lost consciousness. I finally got ahold of my boyfriend who was driving in front of me, and I followed him home where he drove me back to my parents home since I was terrified to drive the 25 minutes after 2 episodes [the second happening after he asked me to follow him] of feeling like I was about to die or something close to it.

Once I ate and pumped some water into me [I started drinking powerade when I thought I might be heart-attack/stroking] I did better but it was not something I'd like to repeat.


working for 2 weeks in a physical job like I did was awesome, this past Monday after a fabulous 3-day weekend away with the wonderful boyfriend brought about a severe case of ennui as I wasn't waking up with him after 2 weeks of it and I had no job to look forward to. sucko. The repeating meals seemed to be a massive fail, did not seem to help me weight cause whatsoever, in fact I needed exlax a couple of times in 2 weeks because of it. hmph.
I really did enjoy the physical labor of my job, and will be looking into getting a factory/similar job because I really liked feeling like I was doing something. and for not doing anything but gaining for 2 weeks, I could feel my muscles being worked in ways they hadn't in a long time. That being said, I missed having my gym and gym time. I want a labor job too so I can start saving up for the next phase....gnomes!
er, no. For my weeding next year, the ring, the apartment, etc. oh, a car that isnt dying. but I wish i could spoil my love.
Eat right Kiddos or the Joker will make you smile!

I love graphs. I've always been a sucker for them, even if they show whacks things, for instance, my 'weight' loss. see how much that damn dot bounces?
Of course, some of it is the wonderful thing called my current weekends, working at the southern California renaissance pleasure faire, in which, even though I make good choices as often as possible, My body gets whacked out. I mean seriously i have and water and who knows what gain of about 6 lbs each weekend. I know they're not real numbers but it's annoying to see that after the persnickety scale has started budging downward it gets to tango back up after two days. meh. Oi with the poodles already.
I got to see my doctor this Monday, but f course, she told me to come back in a month when I'll have insurance again to diagnose my knees [since xrays will rape your pocketbook] and I think I'll wait til then to ask for an antidepressant again. I think I'll use this opportunity to research some of the newer ones to come out since I was on them regularly. I'm just hoping the cream for the ringworm will work. so tired of looking at it on my feet.
Its my birthday next Friday and somehow, I don't think I'll reach my goal of 189, which would have my back at my original 50 pound loss [well, ok, that would be 53.2 lbs, but dammit it was my lowest weight]. however If I can nudge back down to a 195 I will be satisfied with that, for it will be a 48.2 loss [which i will round down to 45 since it only make me happy to have the weird real numbers].

I've changed up my gym routine recently and I'm loving the burn I'm feeling. The very inspirational blog Thge Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss reminded me of something I had forgotten when it came to my gym routine: it takes girls a lot longer, and a lot heavier weights, to look like a female Schwarzenegger when weight training. This being once again firmly rooted in my mind, I have been throwing myself at those weights. Oh alright, I just pick them up and do combo work with them, but either way I get strange looks from the skinny things at the gym. My fellow 'want-to-shed-a-few-inches' crowd don't notice or do similar things, but really, it' hilarious to see the skinny things watch me with disdain and horror as I *gasp* do leg presses and arm extensions at the same time while on a machine [followed by using a strictly arm machine for some moves that work arms and abs, whoo-hoo]
in a few weeks I will change to a new routine for a while to challenge my body. It was going to be in 2 weeks but I have a temporary job next week that has me staying with the bf so that I don't kill my car with the commute and being too far away from my gym to work out :( This is the only time I'm really sad my gym is not a chain, but since my job will be physically involved, I hope to make up for it.

Enough babbling, I have chores to do, a cd to buy, and a gym to sweat in before my evening of family time starts.