I don't know why, but this week, I having a hard timme getting my ass in gear to actually work out. I've just not been in the mood. I enjoy the workouts for these weeks, and most of the time after I'm happy I did it, but I'm just not feeling it this week.
But I am excited about dying my hair after today's workout.

Wow

I'm almost done with Phase 2! Where has the time gone?
I'm glad I have 2 1/2 months before my fitting. I may be able to lose some weight by then.

I have to say, being able to look at a scale and not have the compulsion to get on it is nice. I'm scared of next week. I know I haven't met my goals. I also know I'll be on my period, or just off of it, and therefore not have the most accurate . It's all my doing and I'm discouraged that my diet got that f'ed up. I still exercised and I really want to believe that counted for something. I keep wanting to keep up with the no weighing thing, but I feel I need it to be somewhat accountable. Not because the numbers mean much, just enough to remind me to keep it in line, you know?I need to look through my older entries, I know I had plans for what to do after BR but I can't remember. Right now I keep trying to figure out a schedule for doing 30DS double time, as in, 2 times a day for a month.
Hmmmm

Playing Catch up

So two weeks in a row I ended up working a full day on monday, and so did what I asked about last week:
I did Monday's on Tuesday, and doubled Tuesday's with Wednesday's.
And eek, I'm past the half way point of the program! It's so weird. I'm also past the idway point of the month/phase, how is time flying like this?
My No Weigh May thing is probably good for me, because I'm almost certain I've not lost weight this month, and I don't know that I will in the the next 15 days. Something to do with out exercising a bad diet, and mine is all over the place, for many reasons. Some of them are ok, most are just my idiocy.  On a somewhat positive side, I don't think I'm gaining. But I cant be sure fore 25 more days. I don't miss weighing in, but in the past two days I've kinda wanted to know since I'm bumming. Oh well

However, lately I've been feeling smaller to myself, which is not in keeping with my weekly pictures, but it still feels nice.

Question

So yesterday I ended up working a full day instead of a half like I normally do, and so missed the time I normally do that day's disc. Normally, I would do it when I got home, however, I was exhausted when I got home. I was exhausted because the first half of my day was spent doing lots of physical labor while in some humid heat. In fact, I never really cooled down yesterday, got cooler, but I felt hot all day long, and getting home to a house with no a/c on was not helpful.
So, my question, do I let yesterday slide, or do I do workout 5 today, and double up and do workout 6 and cardio tomorrow and be caught up?

I'm so confused.

I thought about combining today and yesterday, but I waiting for the mail to show up because I decided to order myself the resistance cable JM uses in the program because the one I have currently isn't working out.  The plain rubber keeps snagging on my skin. The one she uses is nice and braidy. Plus I like the handles better.  It occurred to me the day after I ordered it I could've borrowed the MIL's since she's putting off restarting the program. But I want one of my own. And according to the tracking it will be delivered today.  Since our mail shows up around 1, and I have other things to do today, I don't think I can practically fit in 2 today.

This no-weigh May thing is... peculiar. On the one hand, I'm loving the freedom from it's tyranny and remembering it's only one small indicator of how my health is going. On another hand, I feel like I'm in a free-fall and that in 23 days I will discover I have gained massive amounts of weight. I suddenly feel that none of my food choices are good for me. I realize this shows how reliant I was on the damn scale, because I know currently 85% of my choices are healthy. It's that 15% that scare the crap out of me and I'm fighting very hard not to let disordered eating habits to pop back up, but instead try to get a tad more diligent about my dietary habits. I also need to remember that there are going to be times where I don't get to be as healthful as I'd like to be, but it doesn't mean I've failed.

WWI, wait, what?

Hello all!
Something circulated yesterday on tumblr that resonated with me: No Weigh May.  So I'm going to. [I'm also doing this and this]
To quote myself:
GirlGrowingSmall has set up goals for herself for the No Weigh month, and I liked that and thought I should too.
I think the only times in the last couple of years that I stopped weighing myself was when I had stopped exercising, which won’t be the case here, so I’m scared of the outcome of this month. I’m really scared it will be like then, and I will gain big numbers. But I also need to get away from the scale and learn not to depend on it. So here goes.

Goal for the end of May: lose at least 7lbs, putting me nicely under 200lbs

NWM Reward: Something from Disneyland that I’ve been wanting for a while. - or- New and cute workout outfit


NWM Consequence for gaining, or losing 3 lbs or less: No spending money on myself for a month. This will be hard for me because when there is a good sale on fitness stuff or dvds, I like to buy. I rock sales.
It will also make it harder for me to buy a set of 12 lb dumbbells that I've been thinking of getting for Phase 3.

I realize my goals are similar to hers, but it seems we are in the same weight range right now so her numbers really reflect what I want.

Bonus Reward: For making it a month not getting on the scale, I will get myself 1 movie that I want.  Not getting on the scale will be a challenge alone.


Allons-y!

I also have a caveat to my not losing more than 3 lbs,  I will also be measuring again at the end of the month, and if I've made inches progress instead of lbs progress, I will not consider it part of the fail and consequences.

This means a more concentrated effort on being active during the week, with the exception of probably Tuesdays. Everyone needs a rest day. 
And holy cow, am I loving phase 2. Although, I haven't done the cardio yet today. Gulp. I know this phase's is longer than 25 minutes. I hope it doesn't have moves that make my HR spike like phase 1. I can't remember. That was over a week ago and I had a busy 4 days at work.

End of Phase 1

Well then. Has a month really gone by? My life has been so busy, I guess it has.
So, out of the 30 workouts of Phase 1, I missed 3.  I would say days, but since my weekends are scheduled the way they are, I do Saturday's workout late Friday afternoon instead. By Phase 3 I  should be able to do them on Saturdays again. While 1 of my workouts was missed because I had not yet realized I should move the one workout, the other 2 were frustratingly blocked. I worked last Friday, early enough not to be able to get up and do it beforehand [since I take the fiancee to work in order to have a car], and when we got home our niece and nephew had come to stay the night with Gramma. I had been ok with the idea of missing my last cardio, especially after my day Friday, but and the many circumstances that collided on Friday night to prevent me from exercising upset me.  I did stay very physically active all weekend so I don't feel horrible, just frustrated.

So here goes:
Phase 1

Workout 1:
Ease: 2/5
Length: 31 min
[My] Avg Cal: 240

Workout 2:
Ease:2.5-3/5
Length: 35 min
[My] Avg Cal:  273

Cardio 1
Ease: 3.5/5
Length: 25 min
[My] Avg Cal: 227

Workout 3:
Ease: 3.5/5
Length: 35 min
[My] Avg Cal: 290

Workout 4:
Ease: 3/5
Length: 33 min
[My] Avg Cal: 246

I really enjoyed phase 1. I felt the first 2 weeks were definitely beginner, and would say that those more experienced with working out should take the supplemental cardio option the first week, maybe even the second.  I promise you the first cardio dvd will not be child's play by the end of the phase.  Heck, I'm pretty sure that with the exception of supplementing the first 2 weeks, I could start this whole thing over again at the end. I won't though.
As far as weight loss goes. I did not lose mounds of weight. I didn't lose what I wanted. I'm not following the diet program because frankly, I only find those practical when you live alone. I live with 2 other people no matter which house I'm at.  And they control the spices... I mean, they do the food buying, as is their prerogative, and therefore, no altered diet. That's not to say I didn't make healthy choices. I also made bad ones. I also have a completely different eating schedule on the weekends that I believe is screwing with my system. I have been logging my fod and trying very hard to make good decisions, but I'll be the first to admit my crock pot picks for the end of the day on the weekends isn't 100% omghealthy. But when I know they are, I eat earlier in the day accordingly.  Sometimes, I make a few ingredient substitutions to 'lighten' it up. C'est la vie. I'm working hard and not giving up and it counts for something.

Crockpot Menus of late:
Broccoli Casserole
Creamy Beef over Noodles  [brown rice noodles are tasty]
Chicken and Brown Rice
Broccoli Beef

WWI and NSV

Today's Weight: 203.2
Difference: -1.0
Total Difference:  -8.1
-------------------------------

So I think I will consider it a non scale victory that the top of my arms have really changed.  You know how they say when you flex a muscle but can still pinch and pull you still have fat covering the muscle?  My biceps, or at least the top of them can't be pinched. It gives me pleasure to run my hands over my arms and feel hard muscle that I've earned,  not soft layers of fat. Granted, my triceps have layers of fat over them and I can't wait to shrink it down. 
Also, I'm down  a size in undies.  Yay.

I'm still annoyed and confused about net calories, deficit,  and all of that. Why is it I have to eat my exercise calories back but none of my other day's activities? I go shopping for 2 hours? thats walking, but that's not something you get to subtract. I do dishes and house work, nada...
blah. hate confusion.

Ranty

I'm just annoyed.  I'm annoyed that when it comes to bmr,  I apparently need to become active, clean all day.  It's not enough that I try to eat healthfully or that I exercise and I eat at a deficit from  my bmr.  Exercise doesn't seem to count with most websites designed to help you lose the weight. I exercise 6 days out of the week.  I clean/do house hold chores 2-3 days a week. My weekend job calls for me to do a fair bit of walking. But I still am not doing enough.  I guess since it's time to reclaim my back yard again, I will have a reason to be active to a good part of the day.  Also, I will be cleaning out  the front half of my parent's garage next week. Hopefully it has some positive impact. Grrr.  I hate feeling like a fool, because I really thought I was doing better, but it turns out I'm not losing weight like I thought I should for a very good reason.  Because also, it feels like  the idea that exercising raises your overall metabolism, and therefore, how much you're burning while resting, to be complete bullshit.

excuse my pity party.

Push up Power

So in work out 3 one is encouraged to do full on military press. My record is 5. :0 Terrible right? I should practice more. I was proud of that 5.
On Friday I previewed the first half of phase 2. I'm happy I have a week left of phase 1.  Phase 2  looks...tough.  Nothing I can't take and conquer, but boy howdy I'm glad it's a week off.
I'm noticing the switch to 7/8's in my workouts. Whenever she calls for  light weights and I go for the 5's, they see so bitty now. However, ti terrifies me the idea to do the 30DS with my 8's. Also, I have set my sights higher. When I graduate to a higher hand weight, I'm going for 12's. As long as I'll be paying out the butt, might as well make the weight difference worth it.
I had a crappy weekend. Not too much diet, mostly personal. I'm still mostly down. Exercising helps me feel better most of the time, but I' still dwelling.
Also, I'm visiting my childhood by re-watching Ocean Girl. Wow life was different 18 years ago.

I want a practical magic night with hot chocolate......

I Weerrrrk Ooooouut Pt 2

Today's Weight: 204.2
Difference: -3.0
Total Difference:  -7.1
-------------------------------

Said kitty taking over the fiancee's lap

My body is so sore! Weeks 3 & 4 are going to kick my ass in a good way. Yesterday I kinda 3/4-assed my way through the BoB disc, because 2/3 of the way through one of my cats decided she wanted attention and came and plopped herself in my workout space. When you're doing plank leg raises somehow petting a purring fluffy cat seems like a much better idea :P



So, it's weird these days. I have a ton a dietary rules, but some are ones I haven't mentioned to anyone else. Sometimes it's because I wouldn't think to share it, and sometimes it is because I don't want to seem like I'm pushing my feelings on others/being a bitch about it. Last week, [and really, most of the times I'm there these days], when visiting at a friend's place, she offered me juice. I declined, for 2 reasons. The first was that I was participating in a 'drink water for the rest of the week' challenge, and because 2, I don't believe in drinking juice as a beverage.  I didn't explain either one to her, because anytime I talk health makes her want to go be unhealthy, but also, I didn't need her telling me in one shape or another how stupid I was for not thinking it was healthy.  While my choices are never an attack on hers, she always feels they are and spends a lot of time defending hers and trying to show me how wrong I am. I'm really, most simply, a person who prefers to get the juice, and vitamins etc, from the fruit itself. Really, I like the taste of juice, but the sugar content, hidden additives and what have you just don't make it worth it to me. The only time I drink juice is when I have a UTI. It has worked well for me in helping me rid myself of it, but the rest of my body suffers. But, really, it's just my choice.
Of course, I'm a little sore at her since last week, when showing her the picture of Phase 1 Body Revolution, she asked if I ever got around to doing the 30DS.  I've already told her all about it, but she has a tendency to forget a lot of the things I tell her about my life. So I said yes, and she asked if I had lost any weight on it, to which I replied that I had, about 6 pounds when it came down to it, but I had gained some of it back, my weight had been funky lately. I want to point out my 30DS ended a month ago,  so at the time she was asking 3 weeks previously. When I finished my answer about my weight being funky, she nodded, smiled sadly and said, "Yeah, looks like it didn't do much for you, I'm sorry hun."  She gestured towards my belly to indicate lack of shrinkage, and said something to the effect of: right in here.
I've been dwelling on this for almost a week, going through differing phases of hurt and upset. At the time, I said nothing, because I have gained some back. I felt about 3 inches tall and like all my efforts aren't working. Later, when the fiancee picked me up for the weekend, I was livid. I was wearing loose clothing that day, something comfy for playing with the godson. I was livid that when I had finished the shred, I had looked different and at the time she told me I looked like I lost weight. But, the seed of feeling like crap had been planted and bloomed. Even though I'm upset that she has felt that once again brutal honesty is the only way to be a good friend, I'm also upset that I can't get past what she said.
It hasn't stopped me from eating well, from exercising. I'm loving phase 1 and love that I never do the FoB and BoB discs enough times to memorize, and then get bored with them.  I guess I'm confused. I don't understand how I can feel so much better about myself, have so many healthier attitudes, but have a couple of people [and a cold sore that got so huge I looked like I had a red Hitler mustache] say or treat me like this and I feel small.

I will stop rambling now. Have a good day everybody!