Simon Says

Simon says do not pass go and collect 200$ for food conduct on Saturday that was combating Friday night's behavior. Simon also says I need to work out a minimum of 3 hrs, I guess, each day to loose weight, because I upped it to two last week and nothing doing. I'm trying to go a whole week without weighing myself, because the battles I'm having and the fact that it's not budging is causing a depression I can't shake and it's really upsetting my boyfriend.
Saturday's food was glorious to enjoy, though. Garlic and Parmesan fries. ah, it was a wonderful, tasty cheat, since sadly, potatoes are enemy number 58 on the dieters long list of foods that one should rarely or never consume. LE sigh. Of course the food I love most is bad for me. Why should I be able to enjoy in moderation any of my old favorite foods when I do enjoy health foods, and well, I have a Jillian Michaels in my head telling me about every little thing I put in my mouth. Try having that bad ass angel ride your shoulder. She may even advocate moderation of old favorites, but I've seen her show, listened to her radio show, read her book, and know how she feels about most of what I like. I'm shamed right now, for I'm enjoying some Diet Coke before bed. It accompanied some carrots and hummus because I was careless about my protein intake earlier today and so was hungry, but dammit I like my fizzy drink. I was consuming it last time I dropped weight So Angel, please stop telling me it's why I'm not loosing weight.

I'm craving lots of vegetables.
But then, I'm craving a pepperoni pizza so I can dip it in my chipotle sauce.
and another pep pizza, this time with pineapple.
No, my cravings are not weird. I'm not asking for tuna and vanilla ice cream. That would mean I was pregnant. and lacking some sort of vitamins.
Time to go enjoy some sleep.

I overhsared my cold

because my godson has it, and my dad too. Its amazing my dad has it, because I've seen him very little since I got [and got over] the head cold. MY little man though, I've seen him plenty. He got, well, fought and barely got, my egg-lemon soup. I made it at the request of his grandpa, who usually gets whatever sick J gets a few days later. But grandpa's appetite has been very good lately, so between a hearty appetite and some of the soup maybe he will get by unscathed.

I have a real craving for Brussels Sprouts. even have a great recipe for them too. none in the house, I'm the only one who likes them. mmm but I have cucumbers, or maybe they are zucchini? and also, chipotle sauce. not together, just for tomorrow.
Today's lunch was lots of bell peppers and tomatoes. Coupled with a turkey patty and lots of peppered cottage cheese, I'm surprised it didn't have a more pungent affect. But it was tasty. I was in heaven with my vegetables.

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206.0

Today's Exercise [forgot I needed to be writing this down for all]
Bob Harper's Yoga For the Warrior
30 Minutes DDR

The best dessert

Last night I had the best dessert: a sliced naval orange and dark chocolate. It was sooo tasty. Chocolate oranges are fun to break open but this was much more flavorful.

Of course my cravings also tend towards the weird. I was causing my BF to gag at the market last night when I told him jalapeno kettle chips dipped in melted chocolate sounded good to me. But then, he didn't believe me that the sell candy bars with jalapenos, cayenne, salt, etc. I mentioned boutiques in other countries first and he didn't believe me when I got to the USA. Silly boy. But then the fun was making him gag. We also had a serious debate about sugary peanut butter, and whether or not strawberry jam is disgusting [I hate the vile concoction.] Also caused his mother's eyes to bulge when I asked if 10 water bottles was enough fluid. With the pour pouches I managed to drink lots and lots of water yesterday. I felt the need to ask when I noticed I was going pee every 20 minutes and felt like floating away.... So all in all, a great evening.


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205.5

Hmmm

Still not loosing weight but I'm glad to be doing yoga again.
I highly suggest it, really. While there are some positions that are a little odd because some part of me is too big, it still makes me sweat so go on, what are you waiting for?
I'm still stretching and strengthening muscles. I'm hoping even If I'm not loosing weight, I'll maybe tone up some. Maybe then I'll be able to fit back into the pants I got a little too fat to wear comfortably.
Trying to find decaffeinated tea seems to be as useful as trying to find sugarless orange juice. Blahhhh. Of course the amount of tea I drink is ridiculous, but trying to stay away form diet soda is important to me. I'm trying to not feel guilty about using the pour pouches of Crystal Light in my water, since it also is flavored by the devil. Who knows maybe the aspartame in the pour-pouches is holier since it's tea.
It all keeps one chanting, "Inee Topee" all day long.

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Today: 206.9
Yesterday: 206.6

I feel low

after three months, I'm starting to feel like they've had it wrong, and exercise makes you gain weight, since I added 2 pounds since yesterday. Damn damn damn. If in another month I still haven't lost weight I think I'm going to start a movement in my local paper calling out all the doctors who lied

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208.9

Another day, another pound.

I'm really hoping I just built muscles yesterday and that's why my weight went up this morning, because I had an awesome day yesterday.
While I didn't get to be seen by the dentist, on the way home I stopped by a Fresh n Easy right around the corner from my house, and bought myself lots of veggies, and healthier foods to keep at my friend's house since I prepare a lot of meals over there [no point in buying veggies for there, she wont eat nearly any vegetable]. Normally they accommodate my diet in what they buy but for various reason the last month or so there's been little I can eat without paying for it there.
This little trip deprived me of enough time to do Bob's yoga, so I opted for Jillian's instead. I then did more yoga, 3 routines from Slim Calm Sexy Yoga . I made a healthy dinner, played games for family night over there, then did the yoga. I was feeling relaxed and wonderful. So this morning's number hurt.

Today I hit the gym, spending 12 minutes on the bike, 5 minutes on the stair stepper [no handles, yay] 9 minutes on the treadmill with 2 sprints thrown in [my asthma was talking to me, not to mention the phlegm in my chest] about 15 minutes in the weight room doing the squat machine, and the inner and outer thigh master machines, and one of the leg raiser thingies, then climbed on an elliptical for 2 minutes to jump start my heart rate again. so that's.... about 41 minutes. Programing some of the machines can take some time on some of the machines.
In a few minutes I'm going to do a routine from the book again, and call it a night.
Maybe tomorrow the numbers will make me smile.

So I found out

Trying to exercise at the gym with a cold sucks. Even with the head phones on I could tell I was loudly mouth breath, and to top it off I didnt last a full 30 minutes, much less the 45 I was going to put in. My chest was hurting and head was buzzing too much, and I kept getting a side stitch. I was disappointed in myself. The scale this morning really reflected my suckfest at the gym yesterday too. gained a pound.

Annoyed at my dentist. She apparently has a policy, unspoken and unwritten, that she won't work on you if you have a cold. Shes the first dentist I've ever had who's had this policy, and is insisting it's because I will get her sick, and other paitients.
grr.

Been having fun teaching my bf how to cook. I'm currently on hiatus from cooking because of a major cooking mistake the other day and I'd like to take a break. I don't feel like my skills have improved since I started cooking three years ago.
Tomorrow is back to the gym. I tried going on Saturday night, but by the time I went they were closed. Turns out they aren't 24-hr on the weekend. Yesterday I was feeling the Bob kettle-bell dvd pretty hard, so naughty me I only did his 15 minute ab workout.
I also blew it by drinking last night, though it was partially balanced out by not having lots of food yesterday either. I ate way under my calorie count, but the booz trashed that.
Rum is my favorite drink but I tend to forget to stop having more. Also, it gives me the runs the next day. Today has sucked. I didn't weigh myself because it wouldn't be accurate for all the drinking I did last night.
I've had a cold for the past few days, which is why I decided to have a day off from exercising. I figured snotting all over my floor or gym equipment wouldn't be good, and off and on all day my eyes feel like they're being pushed out of my head.
how're all of you?

short thought

Bob Harper's kettle bell dvd, the cardio, inside out one, is awesome. Strange to watch the assistant girl because she seems to be out of the loop, unrehearsed. Good in some ways, to make you feel like you can screw up, bad in some ways because you don't have someone who's actually doing the exercise all the time to reference since bob doesn't do them all while talking you through them.
Excellent workout though.

linkage: Bob Kettlebell Cardio Shred

2 kinds of people...

On Thursday I went back to gym, about the same time as I had on Tuesday, and I noticed some of the same people. This felt nice, that these would be the regulars I would seeing. I observed, though, two very different and distinct attitudes in the 'skinny' women.
There were the women with the the determined shoulders and slightly exhausted expression. You can watch there jaws and lips twitch ever so as they count, and calculate every step and rep. As they move from machine to machine, they may think about wiping them down, but more often they're swiggin' water from their bottles as they walk to the next exercise; they don't see the machine. They see what it's done for them.
Then, there are the women with a detached, unconcerned look on their faces, shoulders taut with being worked but relaxed when released. They glance from TV to ipod screen. As they go from each machine to the next, there is an assured sway to the hips and ass. They spend less time than expected on each machine, seeming to choose each at random. They head out after 30 minutes, with maybe some glow of sweat.

The first kind I've known, and includes my sister. They've had to work to become 'skinny'. They appreciate the work it takes, and the access they pay to have for the machines that aid them. [at home vs gym is another topic, another post]

The second kind I've not known, per se. I've plenty of skinny friends, none of them attend a gym. or exercise regularly. But the general attitude I've known.

Of course there were plenty of overweight women like myself, and luckily there's no [neurotic] fear of judgment there. We all got there somehow, and are doing something to fix it. whoohoo.

I think next time I will check out how I feel in the co-ed section of the gym. I was doing Jillian's gym workout [first of 3], and about 1 minute before I needed to switch off of my elliptical machine for the one stair-stepper in the women's side, someone else got it. So instead of 20 minutes of heart pounding, my-god I'm dying exercise, I went into the mirrored weight room and used all of the leg machines and got to stare at myself and feel oh so wonderful about my fall back.

Now I'm trying to phase out my drinking diet soda since everyone is so down on aspartame, and for a while I wasn't drinking it. I love tea but in the volume I drink it, it becomes tedious because I can drink about 3-5 gallons a day. [that and water].
Also read recently that "Tip: Recent studies found prescription-antihistamine users are more likely to be overweight. Drugs like Olanzapine & Risperidone carry the side effect of blocking weight loss. Research shows that blocking histamines, although good for managing hay-fever, can contribute to over eating & slow fat breakdown.If you take these drugs, talk to your Dr. about natural alternatives & environmental fixes such as dust proofing."
And while I don't take the prescriptions, when the weight suddenly jumped back on [I maintained for a long time] 2 factors happened. I was taking antihistamine at prescription strength to help me sleep and to help with my allergies on a very regular basis. I also spent 2 months drinking heavily on the weekends, especially after having an epiphany where I realized while taking care of my godson and another charge the same age all weekend long several time [and at a faire, we were camping] that I shouldn't be a parent, and since I've longed to be a parent for a long time, this really upset me.
So I'm hoping between a new bed for better sleep and no booz, things will get better.

Laters

So

I know I meant this as a way to publicly be accountable for my weight loss by posting food and exercise every day, but I have been unmotivated or plain out of time lately to update everyday. Not only that, but I've been thoroughly depressed that I haven't managed to loose weight like I did last time. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong and it's incredibly disheartening that not only have I not lost weight in 2 1/2 months, I'm also bigger that I was physically a month ago. While I took those photos at the tail end of my period, I'm don't recall ever being told I'd bloat in my thighs.

Today I didn't get in as much exercise as I would like, but tomorrow is a new day, filled with a new dvd of Bob Harper's Kettle bell cardio. I annoyed my dad the other day in Target when we went to pick the dvd up, because I discovered he also has his own line of kettle bells [which I liked for their wide grip] and another kettle bell dvd altogether. I wanted to sit and read the backs of the bells and dvds and analyze the difference between my choices, but dad was having none of it. oops. Now that I have my kettle bell back, I can see what he has to offer, besides knowing its 54 minutes long. I'm not going to review it first. Haven't had the time.
Also went to the gym Thursday, and that's a whole other post.

Today I only DDR'd for 34 minutes. I spent most of my afternoon out, including bowling, but I didn't do that all that long, so.
Was pretty good about food. But I'm falling asleep here, so no lists today.
Night all.

Im not a loser today

I'm not a loser today, in both the good and bad sense. I'm not a a loser[good thing] because I feel I made good food choices and I exercised. But I'm also not a loser today because even though I hit the gym yesterday and ate decently,, it did not reflect on the scale today.
The gym I was gifted with a membership to is not a chain. I met my sister outside so she could show me around [and surprise, managed to annoy her because I got lost, found a branch for my credit union across the street, and discovered I had the location right the first time while thinking I had the time to be lost and spend 3 minutes at an ATM because she had txted saying she was running late. I was then late.] She showed me to the females only section, and I think I may poke my head over to the co-ed section to see how it is. I did work out, but I felt out of my element. I didn't recognize half of the machines in the 'cardio' room, and the weight room. I took 2 semesters of weight training in high school, and loved those machines. Didn't see a-one of those. It was also beyond weird for me to exercise around my sister [hello sisterly competition issues!] She had to leave since it was her lunch break after I'm thinking 30 mins, and I didn't stay much longer. This disappointed my sister, I could tell, but I did have a few reasons. 1, the elliptical spiked my heart rate too fast and stupid me did not remember my inhalor, 2, same said elliptical kept clicking and I felt not only could the few other [skinny] women hear it, they'd know it was from my fat fat ass working the machine, which I know is stupid but hey I have stupid social phobias, 3, I hadn't brought in the one magazine that had a plan for the machines I knew they had, and boy howdy are they right about not getting as much done without a plan.
Overall now that I've seen what's what there, I'm very excited about using the machines, space, and just hope I can get on track and I will actually lose weight.

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Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup
Fiber One bar
1 Turkey Patty
1/2 cup cottage cheese
1 medium bell pepper, diced and roasted
1 individual size fat free greek yougurt
1 apple
1 5 oz chicken braest
4 oz organic edamame
4 oz jasmine rice with butter

Jillian Micheal's Yoga Meltdown [25 min]
DDR [21 min]

OK Gym, you and Me Time

Today, I'm meeting my sister at the gym to have her show me around and then for the whole year, I'm going to kick my butt at the gym.
I hope. The fact that I don't know if I know how to do it correctly but since they also offer classes there I think I'm going to try for those too.
Just wish my uterus would stop hurt from my period :| ouch ouch ouch.
It's interesting, theoretically my leptin is out of whack because I feel hungry all the time, but exercising isn't helping. Maybe If I exercise more?
They say the key is to eat right exercise more, and loose weight. started going back to the right track 2 months ago and haven't lost weight, and I feel hungry all the time. I do know I need to definitely go back to no cheese as per my cholesterol diet, instead of forgetting 2 days later after deciding it. Must also think of filling things to eat.
got some greek yogurt and avocados, so that should be great after the gym. time to go get changed and head out.