Monday, November 29, 2010

Today was a last decadence: I ate breakfast/lunch at Cracker Barrel, since we don't have them at home.  I had what I think is the Country Boy breakfast, can't remember, but I can tell its huge and largely unhealthy.  It was meant to be a late breakfast early dinner, however, it took two hours for the cab to get to us. So really, It was just a late lunch. My dinner was light by comparison, and now I get to go pack so I can go home tomorrow.

morning, 20 min wii fit balance games and aerobics
evening 32 min elliptical

Sunday, November 28, 2010

So, E., who is best friends with the bf and is who's house I've been residing in since last Saturday.  They have known each other most of their lives, and the bf talks of him often and with much amazement. I had this image in my head of what he would look like, how he would sound, and it clashed horribly the moment I first met him. It wasn't that he didn't fit the type of person that would be his best friend, it was that he seemed so ... flawed.  It wasn't anything physical, it was the sharp reality of meeting the human version of someone so dear to my bf. I was off-put, but suddenly much more at my ease. My social anxieties often make meeting new people or being in large groups extremely difficult, and even though getting the best friend's approval was an important step [not a deal breaker by any means, but still], suddenly, I was suddenly relaxed and forgetful of trying to make a good impression while being me. I try to always be me but I tend to start over analyzing everything I do and people's responses to it.
Here I have been for a week with him, his awesome wife and child, and for a few days his sisters and SOs, and for the life of me, I can't recall what that image I had in my head was. He is quintessentially E., and it will be strange to go home and have him 5(6?) states away.
[It will also be strange to be not basically living with the bf]

That being said:

Last Night's Dinner:
leftover turkey, 3 oz
Mac n Cheese, 5 oz

Today's Breakfast:
whole grain toast with leftover turkey [1.5 oz] fresh made ricotta and fresh herbed mozzarella

Steamed Vegetables 2 oz
4 oz pot roast with pepperinccini
2.5 oz low-fat cheddar cheese.

30 min power yoga, kettle bell, resistance band

Now to join the boys and decide on dinner

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Its amazing how fast a day can go by sometimes....

Yesterday I never did get around to exercising, and while I ate small portions, my late afternoon and evening were filled with leftovers. Im so not even going to mention breakfast.

Today has been, well, ok in food consumption. As in I only ate 5 crepes, I didnt eat six. I only had 2 honey sausages, I didnt eat 3. And that freshly made ricotta and herbed mozzarella? I didnt eat more than 5 oz.

and lunch was turkey salald, not more of my potates, and none of the stuffing, sausage or vegetarian.

But hey, I exercised today.
I might once again tonight when us couples return from doing couples things tonight.

60 min mix cardio & strength training.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Turkey Day

Whoohoo for slow mornings on stressful days! The busy times are still to come, but the prep work yesterday put us ahead of the game.

2 small biscuits
gravy [mix] 4 oz
eggs 3 oz

Cardio 20 min 175-200 cal

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I made a double batch if the healthified Scottsdale Potatoes for tomorrow, can't wait to try it. :( I think I put in too much onion, but we shall see.


3 oz eggs
4 sausage balls

2 sourdough ciabatta rolls
6 oz lean pot roast w/ peperichini

Elliptical 50 min 300+ cal

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ah, the thanksgiving madness starts
1/4 cup shredded wheat squares: 200 cal, 7g fiber, 7g Prot
8 oz 2% milk:  120 cal, 8g Prot


Black beans, corn, tomatoes, bell pepper, olives, lean ground beef, corn chips, cheese.

Will try exercising later

Monday, November 22, 2010

Being welcomed into a new family that is as wacky and weird as my own hobbled together one is nice. The bf insisted I turn off my cell phone to lessen my tension about the stress-inducing calling and it's causing me some stress. The idea of turning off my phone has always seemed like paradise, until I actually go to do it, when I realize I'm too dependent on my phone. What if I miss hearing my godson is dead? etc.... But he's final about this: it's our vacation and he doesn't want or need that unnecessary stress, and is turning the tables on me by helping me over come my problem. The spiraling of what's passed is going to happen, and new beginnings are on the horizon.  :) I will let go.
In other respects, I cannot wait to be back in a kitchen of my own in which I can try out some new food ideas, some born in this house and are a blatant rip off, but I don't care. I have been feeling lackluster in my food ideas and my desire to create in the kitchen is back. Food ruts happen but I have found a way out of them! 
I'm spending Thanksgiving here and have been allowed to offer a dish, as I was raised to. I am doing a healthier version of Scottsdale Potatoes, not only for me, but for everyone coming to the table. I wish I could use a calculator to compare the healthified version to the original, but alas alack I will only have the year of healthy[ier] cooking to back me on it.  I will include a tentative recipe after my food and exercise log.
It also amused me to realize [1] I will be wearing the same thing this Thanksgiving as I have the past 2, [2] it's sad and ironic the only dish I know to bring to a Thanksgiving table is so fattening [3] I must've passed the best friend test because I'm to be a part of the Family photo this year. The last fact is a little strange because I'm used to being rejected or otherwise.  But ah see, a new time begins.

1/4 cup shredded wheat squares: 200 cal, 7g fiber, 7g Prot
8 oz 2% milk:  120 cal, 8g Prot 

Home Elliptical 44 mins cals 200?
Free weights 11 mins  cals?

1 Sorrento Sticksters chedder: 100 cals
3 oz red grapes

Home-made Panini's:
2 slice italian 5 grain bread
spinach leaves
Chicken oz?
roasted bell peppers
black olives
red onions
swiss cheese
All grilled on George Foreman grill
Recipe [original with notes]
1 (2-lb.) package frozen hash browns, thawed[2 lb fresh potatoes grated and squeezed]
2½ cups grated sharp cheddar cheese [grated low-fat sharp cheddar cheese]
2 cups sour cream [low-fat/non-fat greek yogurt]
1 (10¾-oz.) can cream of chicken soup [98% fat-free and low sodium cream of chicken]
½ cup chopped onion
¼ cup (½ stick) butter, melted [Low vegetable oil?]
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
[garlic powder to taste]
2 cups corn flakes cereal, crushed [panko bread crumbs or homemade sourdough croutons]
½ cup (1 stick) butter, melted [less so olive oil or plain butter]


Preheat over to 350°. Lightly butter 7x10-inch ovenproof glass baking dish. Combine hash browns, cheese, sour cream, soup, onions, and ¼ cup butter in large bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Transfer to prepared baking dish. Mix corn flakes and ½ cup butter and sprinkle over potato mixture. Bake until browned, about 45 minutes. Serve immediately.

Serving Size: 1 (184 g)
Servings Per Recipe: 12
Calories 457.3


Calories from Fat 304 66%

Total Carbohydrate 31.3 g


Dietary Fiber 2.9 g


Sugars 2.8 g


Protein 10.9 g

Life follows you

Life follows you on vacation.  My stress factor called yesterday and all the tension I had worked to release was back. :| So much for my vacation getting me away from that stress in my life. Gah.
Last night was a brisk night,  and a quiet one around here.  The bf and his bff had fun making a new computer room, and gaming together. This was after a largely quiet day and a lovely Sunday brunch.

Sunday dinner:
Potato and green bean soup 1 1/2 c

Sunday, November 21, 2010

In tranist

Yesterday was spent mostly traveling.  Or it felt like it, since the sun is setting at 4:30, but I was out of the car by then.

The surreality of being in a new place, now staying in a home as opposed to a hotel room. It's nice.

Yesterday's Breakfast:
Panera Steel-cut oats

Yesterday's Lunch/Dinner:
Squash bowl w/ lean ground beef and cheese. Whole wheat pasta of some ilk.

1 beer [EKU]
2 [.75 oz] of scotches

Today breakfast:
1 whole wheat english muffin
2 oz egg beater
1 home made sausage patty
3 mini whole pancakes
1 oz bananas foster
8 oz 2% milk

Friday, November 19, 2010

Deathly Hallows

Makes you lose you sleep when you see it at a midnight showing.  Hehehe, but it was a good movie, so I can't complain [rudest house I ever sat with though].  However in combining that, an allergy pill, and the previous lack of sleep, led me to oversleep my alarm, and scare the maid service. Tonight's our last night here, tomorrow, we drive. Tonight the BF and I will be going into the city for a celebratory dinner for his last day at this job, and then later we will be at Dan's where his friend will meet us up and kidnap, or yknow, escort us to his residence tomorrow.

I tried a new exercise I made up on the weight machine today, really worked my abs. yay.

1/4 cup shredded wheat squares: 200 cal, 7g fiber, 7g Prot
8 oz 2% milk:  120 cal, 8g Prot
Total: 220 cal, 7g Fib   Remaining: 980 cal

Morning exercise:
Weight machine 30 min cal? 145ish
Elliptical free form 25 min 300+cal
Swimming 25 min cal? 200ish

1 slice 15 grain bread: 100 cal, 4g Fib, 5g Prot
4 slices Roast Beef: 60 cal,11g Prot
4 oz red grapes
Total: 160 cal, 4g Fib Remaining 820cal

For the record, I do no usually count calories on things like grapes, apples, carrots etc because of what it takes to digest them.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Music Hath Charms for Breasts

Mine too. Touristy stuff was fun. The getting there, and arguing oh so intelligibly with the GPS the rental came with was aggravating. But today, I bought some grapes and carrots whoohoo, and I munched on those on the way into the city. My first thought was to do my tourist thing, then grab some lunch later while there. This was a failure, and I finished my bag of carrots while swearing unceremoniously  at the GPS, having a very different opinion than it about how to get where I was going. I made it to home base, Glad to see the terra firma that was my back parking lot and entrance. The rumbling in my belly demanded my full attention now I was not scratching my vocal cords in anger at the machine, so I gladly opened the laptop to scout out a Hardees, for some reason under the impression that since they own Carl's Jr and sport their logo, they would have a modicum of similarity. I was sorely disappointed, as you can see by my earlier entry, and by the time I had finished weighing the pros and cons of what to get at the Sonic down the road [since nothing remotely healthy can be obtained from Taco Bell of McDonalds] and then a time lapse in communication with my boyfriend over dinner guessed it. I didn't eat lunch. 
Yes, I am actually serious about losing weight. Which is why I decided to have some almonds and carrots to tide me over until dinner.
A few driving adventures and many facial tics later [much to the amusement of my boyfriend] we arrived at Dan's again. Wherein I had my favorite, and I blame it all on the gravy. I hate gravy, but this gravy makes my mouth happy in ways that feel illegal.
Think Im going to heat up some tea and wait for it to be time to go huddle in the cold for the movie.

Beef n Guinness
approx 3oz beef
approx 5 oz cabbage
3/4 cup instant mashed taters
1/3 cup gravy
dont know about cals but lets just say Im done for the day.

Dear Hardees

It saddens me you stole the beloved icons of Carl's Jr.  You and your menu make a mockery of the food found there.  I just screamed  "You people are insane!" for 5 minutes straight as I looked, not only for something familiar on your webpages, but at your readily available nutritional guide.  It hurts me to look at it. Chicken is a foreign concept to you.
Give back the icons, and quit the shameful mocking dance.

I now have to go to Sonic to find something healthy. That is just sad.

Ra Ra Ah Ah Ahhh

I did not go swimming, or exercise last night after dinner. Thought about it, but didn't. Kinda cuddled while watching TV with the BF, before realizing about 10 minutes before sleepy time why it was I had felt like crap all day. This in turn made me realize the anger, and with it, tears of frustration. I had hoped 1, certain stress factors at home could be left there while I was on my vacation [partially my fault, couldn't avoid it though], and 2, that the inklings of changes were going to manifest when I left. They didn't.
But, today is a new day, and with it, comes use of a car, seeing some tourist destinations, and at midnight tonight, Harry Potter. I'm finally excited about a Potter movie again.

I made great [not to some] use of the car after dropping the BF at work, by getting good and thoroughly lost [I missed a step in trying to retrace a path from the other night], ended up near Lipscomb University and the surrounding areas [which I think were called Berry Hill]. It was like the Beverly Hills of the area, only Beverly wished she looked this good with so little effort. Not that those people don't manicure their lawns, but given the climate of this state over the area of California Beverly Hills is in, wowwee.  I wanted pictures but given most of the area is residential I thought I'd respect their privacy and not freak them out by pulling over and running around like a maniac with a bright red camera plastered to my face.
The people at the drive-thru for Wal-Greens must already think I'm off my rocker for walking around taking pictures of things like Holly trees [only ever seen the bush variety] and some sort of tree with blue berry looking things on it. It was pretty dangit, I wanted a picture of it.

Today I take along for the ride my surrogate little brother's Dragon Hat, and am documenting it's adventures :)
Off to the gym for a small workout before getting going on my day again.
Subway Breakfast BMT Melt: 230 cal,  6g Fib, 17g Prot
Total: 230 cal, 6g Fib     Remaining: 970 cal

Morning Exercise:
Weight machine 30 min
Elliptical Free Form 15 min

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Raw fish is whose idea?

I took a nap today.  It felt like the right thing to do. It's my vacation, and my stress detox time. People sleep to escape, yes, but also to heal. It was wonderful.  I think my ignoring it all week was a mistake.
We had sushi tonight. Vegetable rolls, cucumber rolls, California rolls, and I braved the tuna rolls. And lived to regret it eat bite. Also ate some edamame. Don't know the calories, but I would  bet I still exceeded my remaining 360 calories.
Also walked to the Wal-Greens next to my hotel and bought some tea and Diet Dr Pepper.  Mmmm caffeine. How I've missed you. Please don't leave me again. Okies?

4 California Rolls
4 Vegetable Rolls
5 Cucumber Rolls
4 Tuna Rolls
4 oz edamame
Total: 600 cal?


Apparently I overdid it on the elliptical machine, I had the weirdest pain in my thighs when I was done, enough to make me reconsider my apparent over enthusiasm. Instead of becoming an aquatic fiend, I opted to rest with my legs up in my room for a while. This made me sad, I love swimming and never really get to go, though if I find a gym even I can afford when I get home [job first!], I think I'm going to make sure it has a pool attached so I can do more laps.
I'm trying to not feel guilty about not swimming when I had planned to, trying to tell myself that my body told me to back off before it ninja'd me, but I do feel as though I'm just being lazy.  It's not my rest day yet, grr, I was planning on tomorrow being my 'rest' day, seeing as I'm doing some touristy stuff in the city and then later on that night going to see a midnight premiere of Harry Potter with the BF. I have no idea if my tour tomorrow will include much walking, and I've actually still been considering hitting the gym tomorrow night and using the weight machine.
I think I have flipped the pancake. Mmm pumpkin pancakes sound marvelous. Never have gotten around to trying to make them, since most of the recipes I have found for the seem ridiculous. To me it should be something as follows:
pumpkin puree
wheat flour [regular is fine]
baking soda or powder [forget the difference most the time]
if it must include sugar make it splenda but really id rather go for a drop of vanilla extract instead

I think eggs should be in there too but I'm pancake simple, I'm that girl who goes for the Bisquick. 

Of course I would also use millet as a flour substitute, so yes, I'm certifiable. Millet seems to be pretty underrated. But then I'm the girl who continually gets shocked when she finds out someone doesn't know what couscous is.

Ahem. Millet, learn

Morning exercise:
Elliptical Machine Free Form: 30 min 325cal

1 oz Almonds: 170 cal, 3g Fib, 6g Prot
Total: 170 cal, 3g Fib    Remaining: 650 cal

2 slices 15 grain bread: 200 cal, 8g Fib, 10g Prot
6 slices roast beef: 90 cal, 16.5g  Prot
Total: 290 cal, 8g Fib  Remaining: 360 cal
I am not as sore as I thought I would be this morning.  I figured the use of the weight machine would make me plenty sore, my upper strength isnt what it used to be, but it's only a slight soreness. I'm still debating using it again today, perhaps I should just stick to the elliptical machine today and try out the treadmill for good measure? Or just swim instead after the elliptical? It'll be soon enough that I'm down there, maid service will be here soon. Though I'm hoping not too soon, I havent finished all of my breakfast and need the 45 min window.

Can't wait to have access again to a scale. It's so much more easy to adjust and analyze what is and isnt working. PLus then I can see how bad these dinners are being for me.

1 1/4 cup shredded wheat squares: 200 cal, 7g fiber, 7g Prot
6 oz 2% milk:   90 cal, 6g Prot
6 oz 2% milk: 90 cal, 6g Prot
Total: 380cal, 7g Fib   Remaining: 820

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I miss having a kitchen....

Which is actually the antithesis of my vaction in the first place. But, having a kitchen to cook for myself is so much better for calorie/fat/sodium control, not to mention the avoiding naughty foods altogether. But ah, what's a vacation on the oppostie side of the US without sampling local cuisine [and leaving my hotel room?]
Granted, next week I will be staying in a friend's home, no doubt helping with cooking, and in general be not limited due to lack of car/walking safe distance.

This afternoon I thought I would bundle up and head out for a walk, which I had figured would be some nice, light exercise. Not only would I be seeing some sights, I could be not in my room, staring at a screen or reading. This turned out to be ill-timed, because the rain had started up again, and sadly, my parka is in need of repairs and is not good at keeping closed. It also turned out that my paticular area is less than pedestrian friendly, so after only 10-15 minutes of moderate walking I turned around to head back. The closer I got, the lighter the rain got and the more I wanted to take pictures and at least go up the small hill that circles around to the back parking lot of my hotel. 45 minutes after leaving, I returned, and counted it as a bust, with a few pictures to show and feeling refreshed from the wind.

Of course, the downfall. We went to Dan McGuinness again. Tonight I tried their angus burger. I think, if I had stuck to the burger,  and the add ons our waiter had suggested, I wouldve been fine. But the bastard burger came with fries [totally missed that on the menu]. I have a hard time saying no to potatoes in any form when they are given to me, they are and have always been my favorite food. And I ate all but three, because by then I was full. But some I ate with gravy [commence the stoning].
So this is why after 4 days, I really want a kitchen back.

Dinner of doom: 800 cals?  Remaining : -350 cals

After dinner Exercise:
Elliptical machine: 28 mins, 290 cals
[switched between forward and backward pedaling]

Wet and not so Wooly

I never did end up eating lunch yesterday [bad!] though I did have some milk and fiber bars to snack so I wouldn't completely crash.  Sadly I was still a cranky hungry bear by the time my Boyfriend arrived back at the hotel, helped somewhat by my not fully informative FB update lamenting the fact that Sonic [the only food within walking distance] has nothing healthy to offer. The rest of the fast food offerings like just over the freeway overpass that looks definitely off limits to foot traffic. I was feeling guilty about my breakfast, for while protein is important, I'm limited on my intake of eggs, and bacon, while tasty, is not so good with the large quantities. My sister immediately chirped back that they had a grilled chicken sandwich, so I hopped on the website to check out the nutritional facts. The sodium levels were higher than good for me [low sodium tolerance is something I discovered years ago and is damned annoying] was 375 calories, a good 1/3 of my days calories, and lord knew how much I had wasted on my breakfast. The protein was at 27, which seemed dismally small, and I can't recall the fiber, but the overall size of the burger confirmed I was not going to feel full, and be tempted to [go back and] get the tater tots they offer there.
By then, It was late in the afternoon, and I decided I should just wait until the car was home and have an early dinner. I also decided rather than be miserable [and listen to my sister go on about it was better than not eating] the rest of the week,  I would have my boyfriend take me to what I've been calling oversized 7-11s [things here are very different than at home. including Liquor Laws. weird], and buy breakfast and lunch items so I could eat in the room, which until our hotel room had been changed, was the original plan. This room, however, is not an extended stay room, with ways of cooking small meals for yourself. I grabbed some 15-grain bread, turkey, a guilty pleasure of roast beef, being sick of ham, and mustard for my lunches; I completely forgot to grab lettuce or sprouts.  For breakfast I grabbed some shredded wheat squares and 2% milk, for this store didn't carry coconut milk and I refuse to drink non-fat. I even did an internal happy dance [while outwardly blushing form my interaction anxieties] when I found out my savings card worked out here; I hadn't been sure, since while it's the same company, it does have a different name in my state.
By then, I was drowsy from my dinner. There's a place out here called Dan McGuinness, also within walking distance, but equally as bad calorie-wise. Pub Irish food, but they are nice enough to offer 'wee orders' on several of their menu items, and that is what I did.
Wee Order of Beef 'n Guinness
A smaller version of our Beef n' Guinness.  Served with cabbage. 
Seasoned sirloin beef tips marinated and cooked in a rich Guinness Stout gravy over mashed potatoes

For the record, I didn't finish my potatoes [yay me!] But I did split an order of Spinach Dip [bad] beforehand. 

1 1/4 cup shredded wheat squares: 200 cal, 7g fiber, 7g Prot
6 oz 2% milk:   90 cal, 6g Prot
Total: 290 cal, 7g Fib     Remaining: 910 cal

Morning exercise:
Weight machine aprox 20 min cal?
Elliptical Machine Weight-loss Program 30 mins [incl cooldown] 325 cal
Swimming [training] 35 min cal?

2 slices 15 grain bread: 200 cal, 8g Fib, 10g Prot
3.5 slices Turkey:  140 cal, 10.5 Prot
2 slices Roast beef: 30 cal, 5.5 Prot
6 oz 2% milk: 90 cal, 6g Prot
Total:  460 cal, 8g Fib   Remaining: 450 cal

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 1. Again.

Well, kinda.  Last week had a day 1 again, but this weekend happened. so I'm againing, again.
A year and a half ago I had my doctor call to tell me my cholesterol was dangerously high and not only did I need to loose weight pronto, but I was to be put on meds to help lower said cholesterol immediately. She lectured me about how in another year I could have a stroke or die of a heart attack, and scolded me for these risks being so high in someone who was only 21 [about a week before my 22nd birthday].  Properly terrified, I started exercising more. More? you ponder, how could she be overweight [weighing in at my heaviest of 242 on my 5'2" medium frame] if she was exercising? Well I wasn't doing it enough to do much but maintain my weight.
So for longer, and more times a week, I pulled out my DDR mat and danced and sweated. Combined with therapeutic levels of stress relieving medications, a strict cholesterol-lowering diet of 1200cals and eventually adding in Yoga Booty Ballet and Jillian Michael's DVDs I dropped 50 lbs in a year. It was not the spectacular results I wanted, in fact just the opposite. I was thoroughly disappointed, and angry my sister had managed better when she went through her weight loss transformation. I plateaued easily and often.
In early Spring '10,  I had begun losing again, broken through whatever plateau I had had, when I woke one morning to pain in my knees. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence, every once in a while I would wake to find them so, go easy on them for a day, and the next day they'd be fine again. Except the pain didn't go away after a day. The pain got worse, and became somewhat debilitating. I stopped exercising for fear of doing permanent damage to my knees, and became more depressed as time went on and nothing I did for my knees seemed to help.  A month and a half after it started, I decided to try exercising again, but I stuck only to DDR. I love Jillian Michaels and missed her dvds, but since my main problem was bending and supporting my weight while doing so [it was too painful] I decided I would be doing something incredibly stupid to try doing them.  I know, DDR has a lot of impact to that area, but I wasn't having to flex and support weight like the dvds wanted. and it seemed to help lessen the pain for a little while. Even this was varied and awkward for me since my father was out of work and the TV and the computer share the same small space.
My diet had suffered as well, and a few weeks ago I had the final blow: at my PP office, they weighed me as usual... and I was back over 200lbs! 20 lbs had crept back up on me in 6 months, the most of which happened in the last 2 months. My knees still ache, but nothing  like the initial pain.

So here I am, back at day 1 of weight loss. I'm on vacation, and plan on using the gym the hotel has, already did today in fact. I already started off on the wrong foot by consuming things I shouldn't have this weekend since my arrival. But I have a gym for a week, and Jillian and YBB dvds til the end of November. When I return home, I have a kettle-bell waiting.  My goal for this vacation is to at least maintain last week's small weight loss, and hopefully knock off more of weight gain and start back to finishing my initial weight loss goal of 90-100 lbs gone.
Eliptical Machine [I think] Weight Loss pre-programing 30 minutes 300+ cals
Bike free pedal 10 mins 17 cals
Weight Machine: 15 mins, ?

[more exercise later]

Breakfast: 8oz 2% milk, Kashi cereal to go blueberry, 4? slices bacon, 3/4s c eggs, 1/2 danish
Here in TN they seem to be very generous on meat portions. I didnt ask for that many bacon, but I had a week moment and ate all of them.

Snack after exercising: 8oz 2% milk, Fiber 1 bar

ED:  Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown Level 1
yikes Im out of practice