Monday, April 30, 2012

End of Phase 1

Well then. Has a month really gone by? My life has been so busy, I guess it has.
So, out of the 30 workouts of Phase 1, I missed 3.  I would say days, but since my weekends are scheduled the way they are, I do Saturday's workout late Friday afternoon instead. By Phase 3 I  should be able to do them on Saturdays again. While 1 of my workouts was missed because I had not yet realized I should move the one workout, the other 2 were frustratingly blocked. I worked last Friday, early enough not to be able to get up and do it beforehand [since I take the fiancee to work in order to have a car], and when we got home our niece and nephew had come to stay the night with Gramma. I had been ok with the idea of missing my last cardio, especially after my day Friday, but and the many circumstances that collided on Friday night to prevent me from exercising upset me.  I did stay very physically active all weekend so I don't feel horrible, just frustrated.

So here goes:
Phase 1

Workout 1:
Ease: 2/5
Length: 31 min
[My] Avg Cal: 240

Workout 2:
Length: 35 min
[My] Avg Cal:  273

Cardio 1
Ease: 3.5/5
Length: 25 min
[My] Avg Cal: 227

Workout 3:
Ease: 3.5/5
Length: 35 min
[My] Avg Cal: 290

Workout 4:
Ease: 3/5
Length: 33 min
[My] Avg Cal: 246

I really enjoyed phase 1. I felt the first 2 weeks were definitely beginner, and would say that those more experienced with working out should take the supplemental cardio option the first week, maybe even the second.  I promise you the first cardio dvd will not be child's play by the end of the phase.  Heck, I'm pretty sure that with the exception of supplementing the first 2 weeks, I could start this whole thing over again at the end. I won't though.
As far as weight loss goes. I did not lose mounds of weight. I didn't lose what I wanted. I'm not following the diet program because frankly, I only find those practical when you live alone. I live with 2 other people no matter which house I'm at.  And they control the spices... I mean, they do the food buying, as is their prerogative, and therefore, no altered diet. That's not to say I didn't make healthy choices. I also made bad ones. I also have a completely different eating schedule on the weekends that I believe is screwing with my system. I have been logging my fod and trying very hard to make good decisions, but I'll be the first to admit my crock pot picks for the end of the day on the weekends isn't 100% omghealthy. But when I know they are, I eat earlier in the day accordingly.  Sometimes, I make a few ingredient substitutions to 'lighten' it up. C'est la vie. I'm working hard and not giving up and it counts for something.

Crockpot Menus of late:
Broccoli Casserole
Creamy Beef over Noodles  [brown rice noodles are tasty]
Chicken and Brown Rice
Broccoli Beef

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Today's Weight: 203.2
Difference: -1.0
Total Difference:  -8.1

So I think I will consider it a non scale victory that the top of my arms have really changed.  You know how they say when you flex a muscle but can still pinch and pull you still have fat covering the muscle?  My biceps, or at least the top of them can't be pinched. It gives me pleasure to run my hands over my arms and feel hard muscle that I've earned,  not soft layers of fat. Granted, my triceps have layers of fat over them and I can't wait to shrink it down. 
Also, I'm down  a size in undies.  Yay.

I'm still annoyed and confused about net calories, deficit,  and all of that. Why is it I have to eat my exercise calories back but none of my other day's activities? I go shopping for 2 hours? thats walking, but that's not something you get to subtract. I do dishes and house work, nada...
blah. hate confusion.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


I'm just annoyed.  I'm annoyed that when it comes to bmr,  I apparently need to become active, clean all day.  It's not enough that I try to eat healthfully or that I exercise and I eat at a deficit from  my bmr.  Exercise doesn't seem to count with most websites designed to help you lose the weight. I exercise 6 days out of the week.  I clean/do house hold chores 2-3 days a week. My weekend job calls for me to do a fair bit of walking. But I still am not doing enough.  I guess since it's time to reclaim my back yard again, I will have a reason to be active to a good part of the day.  Also, I will be cleaning out  the front half of my parent's garage next week. Hopefully it has some positive impact. Grrr.  I hate feeling like a fool, because I really thought I was doing better, but it turns out I'm not losing weight like I thought I should for a very good reason.  Because also, it feels like  the idea that exercising raises your overall metabolism, and therefore, how much you're burning while resting, to be complete bullshit.

excuse my pity party.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Push up Power

So in work out 3 one is encouraged to do full on military press. My record is 5. :0 Terrible right? I should practice more. I was proud of that 5.
On Friday I previewed the first half of phase 2. I'm happy I have a week left of phase 1.  Phase 2  looks...tough.  Nothing I can't take and conquer, but boy howdy I'm glad it's a week off.
I'm noticing the switch to 7/8's in my workouts. Whenever she calls for  light weights and I go for the 5's, they see so bitty now. However, ti terrifies me the idea to do the 30DS with my 8's. Also, I have set my sights higher. When I graduate to a higher hand weight, I'm going for 12's. As long as I'll be paying out the butt, might as well make the weight difference worth it.
I had a crappy weekend. Not too much diet, mostly personal. I'm still mostly down. Exercising helps me feel better most of the time, but I' still dwelling.
Also, I'm visiting my childhood by re-watching Ocean Girl. Wow life was different 18 years ago.

I want a practical magic night with hot chocolate......

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Weerrrrk Ooooouut Pt 2

Today's Weight: 204.2
Difference: -3.0
Total Difference:  -7.1

Said kitty taking over the fiancee's lap
My body is so sore! Weeks 3 & 4 are going to kick my ass in a good way. Yesterday I kinda 3/4-assed my way through the BoB disc, because 2/3 of the way through one of my cats decided she wanted attention and came and plopped herself in my workout space. When you're doing plank leg raises somehow petting a purring fluffy cat seems like a much better idea :P

So, it's weird these days. I have a ton a dietary rules, but some are ones I haven't mentioned to anyone else. Sometimes it's because I wouldn't think to share it, and sometimes it is because I don't want to seem like I'm pushing my feelings on others/being a bitch about it. Last week, [and really, most of the times I'm there these days], when visiting at a friend's place, she offered me juice. I declined, for 2 reasons. The first was that I was participating in a 'drink water for the rest of the week' challenge, and because 2, I don't believe in drinking juice as a beverage.  I didn't explain either one to her, because anytime I talk health makes her want to go be unhealthy, but also, I didn't need her telling me in one shape or another how stupid I was for not thinking it was healthy.  While my choices are never an attack on hers, she always feels they are and spends a lot of time defending hers and trying to show me how wrong I am. I'm really, most simply, a person who prefers to get the juice, and vitamins etc, from the fruit itself. Really, I like the taste of juice, but the sugar content, hidden additives and what have you just don't make it worth it to me. The only time I drink juice is when I have a UTI. It has worked well for me in helping me rid myself of it, but the rest of my body suffers. But, really, it's just my choice.
Of course, I'm a little sore at her since last week, when showing her the picture of Phase 1 Body Revolution, she asked if I ever got around to doing the 30DS.  I've already told her all about it, but she has a tendency to forget a lot of the things I tell her about my life. So I said yes, and she asked if I had lost any weight on it, to which I replied that I had, about 6 pounds when it came down to it, but I had gained some of it back, my weight had been funky lately. I want to point out my 30DS ended a month ago,  so at the time she was asking 3 weeks previously. When I finished my answer about my weight being funky, she nodded, smiled sadly and said, "Yeah, looks like it didn't do much for you, I'm sorry hun."  She gestured towards my belly to indicate lack of shrinkage, and said something to the effect of: right in here.
I've been dwelling on this for almost a week, going through differing phases of hurt and upset. At the time, I said nothing, because I have gained some back. I felt about 3 inches tall and like all my efforts aren't working. Later, when the fiancee picked me up for the weekend, I was livid. I was wearing loose clothing that day, something comfy for playing with the godson. I was livid that when I had finished the shred, I had looked different and at the time she told me I looked like I lost weight. But, the seed of feeling like crap had been planted and bloomed. Even though I'm upset that she has felt that once again brutal honesty is the only way to be a good friend, I'm also upset that I can't get past what she said.
It hasn't stopped me from eating well, from exercising. I'm loving phase 1 and love that I never do the FoB and BoB discs enough times to memorize, and then get bored with them.  I guess I'm confused. I don't understand how I can feel so much better about myself, have so many healthier attitudes, but have a couple of people [and a cold sore that got so huge I looked like I had a red Hitler mustache] say or treat me like this and I feel small.

I will stop rambling now. Have a good day everybody!

Monday, April 16, 2012

I werk ooooouuut

Guess who got herself a new pair of weights? 5's were becoming too easy in most exercises. although I was not thinking when I bought them about how I was about to start weeks 3&4 of phase 1 [which is in, oh, 20 minutes]. Bwahaha I'm so going to be cursing myself, I'm sure. I also have the secret hope that going between 7's at the MIL's place and 8's at home will add to the whole muscle confusion theory. Who knows?

This weekend was a great success of coming home after 12 hours work to a crock pot just finished cooking our dinner, thank goodness for plug timers.  Saturday night was Philly Cheese-steak Soup which doesn't sound healthy at all, but I put it into a recipe calculator and it wasn't bad.   Sunday night was a little more naught with Chicken Cordon Bleu, but only for the can of condensed soup added. That one I even went for the healthy version to appease my conscience.

Also, did alot better this weekend about food intake and not overdoing it. Go team me!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

WWI blahs

Today's Weight: 207.2
Difference: +1.8
Total Difference:  -4.1
I'm more than a little upset. I'm very frustrated that right now one or two miscalculations in a new situation has led to a huge gain. I'm still exercising damnit, I was trying to make the best choices and found out I was still wrong. Not to mention realizing that I've plateaued after  what, losing 2.5 lbs? Because really, that what this is, yo-yoing between the same damn few pounds. 
Excuse me while I go stew in my hole and try to figure out how to climb this mountain. Besides screaming obscenities at my body. and the people in my life who are verbally attacking my choices that are trying to avoid this outcome again

 Baked Chicken with Dijon and Lime
Whiskey Steak
Lentil Chili
Mexican Lentils and Rice

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Non Scale Victory Thoughts

These prolly don't count. But I thought I'd share them

In 14 weeks, I spent 42 hours and 25 minutes of them exercising.  [I have no figures for when I started about 3 weeks prior to that because I wasn't writing anything down.]

Anytime I start to feel down about how little progress I feel I've made, I can remind myself that I didn't gain back all 50 lbs I lost before my knees crapped out. I made that 50lb progress, and that is something. Setbacks happen.

I don't feel guilty [98% of the time] for eating something that isn't part of the healthy ideal. I very often know if it's a choice of feeding my body when I have the chance, and going with something 2nd best for it, and trying to wait for the absolute best, that wait is going to do bad things to me.

I no longer feel like giving up when I'm frustrated. Believe me, I get frustrated from time to time because my body isn't doing what I think it should be doing. Those inspirationals are right. It takes time, and if I don't keep going it's never going to happen and then I'll be upset even more. 6 months are going to pass no matter what, what matters is how I spend those months.

That's all I've got for now

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Scale Day

Today's Weight: 205.4
Difference: -1.6
Total Difference:  -5.9

I had very mixed feelings about getting on the scale today. Part of me was excited that I got to weigh myself, part of me was annoyed that I was doing it since I'm trying not to rely on it too much, and part of me was just plain curious what number it would say. I was pleasantly surprised by what it said, I figured it would match last week's number since my weekend's eating was all over the place. I was physically active for most of Sunday, lifting heavy, up and down short flight of stairs, walking to a fro, but my lunch was from a pot luck, breakfast was from Carl's Jr, and dinner was In and Out [granted, I got my double-double protein style with no sauce and I didnt snack after] and Monday I managed to go over calories by indulging in a Carl's cookie after splitting a combo with the MIL. Those cookies have a shitload of calories, prolly why they taste so good.
But who knows, sometimes I wonder about counting calories. Some of my inspirations didn't lose weight by counting calories, but by eating healthily and when they were hungry, and Monday left me very hungry. [and yes, exercising, which I'm doing].  I tend to have days where I feel hungry at the end of the day even though I made good choices, because I'm limiting to calorie counts.
Those inspirational posters always say to go by more than the scale, look for the little things, but I don't think I really have any Non-Scale Victories so far.  I'm back into my 18W Gloria Vanderbilts again, I spose that counts.

I'm enjoying Body Revolution like I said, but I am only 3 days in. Let's see how I feel about it at the end of phase 1.  Secretly, I'm scared I'm still going to be in the same place in 3 months. In general, my determination to lose weight has helped me not be so uptight and depressed, but since I seem to make very slow progress I'm just scared. In general, yes, I know one day I will lose the weight as long as I keep trying, keep going with regular exercise and healthy eating. But I do have small goals, like maybe being 8-10 lbs lighter at the end of phase one. Not only that, but to see a bit of a difference at the end of phase one too, since I've decided to take weekly pictures to motivate me.
Saturdays for exercise are going to be very interesting, since I have very little time in the mornings. Personally, I guess I won't need to eat before exercising if I do it when I wake up since I'll be getting up earlier on the weekends. anywhos.

Here are some recipes that have gotten big thumbs up from my family[ies] recently:
Clean Eating Lemon Chicken Penne
Lemony Chicken with Artichoke Hearts
Cuban Pork
Garlic Asparagus with Lime

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Body Revolution

And so it has begun! Yesterday was my first day, and I will definitely be supplementing my  first 2 weeks with extra plays of the cardio DVD and my kickboxing DVD. I did get sweaty, but when my highest HR was 161 and my average was down at 137 o_o which is about 15 under my normal average.  My only day to not double up will be Saturdays since by the time I will be getting home I'll be to exhausted and it wouldn't be good for me.
Right now I'm struggling with breaking the habit of weighing myself everyday. My fiancee asked that I stop and only do it once a week because he felt I was doing it too much. My attitudes towards weight-loss have changed in the last few months, and while watching the fluctuations every day was mostly fascinating, it did on occasion still get me down.  It feels weird, not knowing how I'm doing, especially after my somewhat crappy weekend.  Part of me argues, but it shouldn't matter, I need to keep eating right and exercising and come up with alternatives to my food problems on the weekends.
See you in a couple of days