Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Weerrrrk Ooooouut Pt 2

Today's Weight: 204.2
Difference: -3.0
Total Difference:  -7.1

Said kitty taking over the fiancee's lap
My body is so sore! Weeks 3 & 4 are going to kick my ass in a good way. Yesterday I kinda 3/4-assed my way through the BoB disc, because 2/3 of the way through one of my cats decided she wanted attention and came and plopped herself in my workout space. When you're doing plank leg raises somehow petting a purring fluffy cat seems like a much better idea :P

So, it's weird these days. I have a ton a dietary rules, but some are ones I haven't mentioned to anyone else. Sometimes it's because I wouldn't think to share it, and sometimes it is because I don't want to seem like I'm pushing my feelings on others/being a bitch about it. Last week, [and really, most of the times I'm there these days], when visiting at a friend's place, she offered me juice. I declined, for 2 reasons. The first was that I was participating in a 'drink water for the rest of the week' challenge, and because 2, I don't believe in drinking juice as a beverage.  I didn't explain either one to her, because anytime I talk health makes her want to go be unhealthy, but also, I didn't need her telling me in one shape or another how stupid I was for not thinking it was healthy.  While my choices are never an attack on hers, she always feels they are and spends a lot of time defending hers and trying to show me how wrong I am. I'm really, most simply, a person who prefers to get the juice, and vitamins etc, from the fruit itself. Really, I like the taste of juice, but the sugar content, hidden additives and what have you just don't make it worth it to me. The only time I drink juice is when I have a UTI. It has worked well for me in helping me rid myself of it, but the rest of my body suffers. But, really, it's just my choice.
Of course, I'm a little sore at her since last week, when showing her the picture of Phase 1 Body Revolution, she asked if I ever got around to doing the 30DS.  I've already told her all about it, but she has a tendency to forget a lot of the things I tell her about my life. So I said yes, and she asked if I had lost any weight on it, to which I replied that I had, about 6 pounds when it came down to it, but I had gained some of it back, my weight had been funky lately. I want to point out my 30DS ended a month ago,  so at the time she was asking 3 weeks previously. When I finished my answer about my weight being funky, she nodded, smiled sadly and said, "Yeah, looks like it didn't do much for you, I'm sorry hun."  She gestured towards my belly to indicate lack of shrinkage, and said something to the effect of: right in here.
I've been dwelling on this for almost a week, going through differing phases of hurt and upset. At the time, I said nothing, because I have gained some back. I felt about 3 inches tall and like all my efforts aren't working. Later, when the fiancee picked me up for the weekend, I was livid. I was wearing loose clothing that day, something comfy for playing with the godson. I was livid that when I had finished the shred, I had looked different and at the time she told me I looked like I lost weight. But, the seed of feeling like crap had been planted and bloomed. Even though I'm upset that she has felt that once again brutal honesty is the only way to be a good friend, I'm also upset that I can't get past what she said.
It hasn't stopped me from eating well, from exercising. I'm loving phase 1 and love that I never do the FoB and BoB discs enough times to memorize, and then get bored with them.  I guess I'm confused. I don't understand how I can feel so much better about myself, have so many healthier attitudes, but have a couple of people [and a cold sore that got so huge I looked like I had a red Hitler mustache] say or treat me like this and I feel small.

I will stop rambling now. Have a good day everybody!

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