Wednesday, August 29, 2012

WWI, oopsies

Today's Weight: 200.3
 Difference: - 2.8
Total Difference:  -10.9

So my last week of this month got a little screwed because I left Extreme Shed and Shred at the MIL's. I realized it after I got home Monday, after not being able to exercise for various reasons. I spent all yesterday planning my time around the hour and twenty minutes it takes to complete it, and about an hour before the designated time, I remembered it wasn't here for me to use, so I had to survey what I had. At first I still wanted to do at least an hour's worth, so I turned to my Bob dvds. I ended up deciding against all 3; since my kettlebell is still at my fiancee's, I didn't feel like trying to modify with a dumbbell, and the confined space of my bedroom does not lend itself to some of the moves in Total Body Transformation. I wanted to save yoga for today,  because yes I sweat ad feel good, but since I hadn't had a good workout since Friday, I wanted something that really got my heart rate up. Looking at my Jillian dvds, I decided I still wanted to save my Ripped in 30 for next month, still no kettle bell, so I went for the ass whooping of Kickboxing. I'm sad I wont get to finish this month with the ES&S but oh well.
I was also annoyed to find that part of my heart rate monitor is missing. Livestrong's calculator never seems on for me, either too low or too high. I need to find the missing piece because for me, the HRM is a very helpful tool.
It will also be helpful to find out if I need to supplement Ri30 with kickboxing,  since the stepping up to 1:20:00 seems to have agreed with me. I want to go back to just 1:00:00, since the last 10 were always the longest because I had so little left.

Mediterranean Salad
Pumpkin Ginger Waffles

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I'm going to say something frowned upon in the fitspo world:
I do not love my body.
For me, I do not subscribe to the popular saying that if I don't love my body now when I lose weight I won't love it then.
I'm not saying this is a wrong thing to strive for, but I'm sorry, it's not for me.
I love me. Ok, that took years. But I do, I love me, I love my personality, but no, I don't love this body I'm in. I'm working on changing as a sign of love to myself, I want my health. I detest my body's current state because it represents years of self abuse. I used food in all the wrong ways, purposely ignored opportunities to learn about health and how to change my ways. It represents years of self perpetuating hate, hate the body, hurt the body. I couldn't learn to love me because I fell into the trap of body is worth.
Now, I see a body I'm not happy with and I use it to get my butt moving because there are days, especially heat wave days, I have no desire to work out. But I look at myself and know if I don't like what I see, I need to change it. I can't complain about this body if I'm not willing to work on it. I will work out the rest of my life because I chose to make that my life style.
I also no longer hate myself for not working out when I don't get to and or/put it off. I don't hate myself when my diet is not my ideal. I forgive myself and move on. I don't need that negativity in my life anymore.
One day, I will like my body, and then love it, but for now, I want my health back.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Today's Weight: 203.1
 Difference: + 0.7
Total Difference:  -8.1

 I'm annoyed and bewildered at this number. I survived vacation with my weight not going up, I was damn pleased. But the 2 days following my return, in which I ate very well, my weight has shot up. Not only that, I started on the third phase of me using Extreme Shed and Shred, which in the end is 80 minutes of working out, warm up and cool down. I did it 2 days in a row and boy am I sore. I think I should've taken a break with a shorter level yesterday. I am hoping desperately that this weight gain is nothing more that water retention from my muscles trying to recover. Hope hope hope. Of course, I also worry about water retention from the fun bit of life that is PMS, cuz god, another month has gone by. I hate that my period messes with my numbers.

I will be taking a break today. I can tell my soreness is at the point that I need a rest. I'm debating between a short 20 minute kick boxing session, or if my day's chores should be enough. I think I'll see after lunch.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

WWI, Vacation

Today's Weight: 202.4
 Difference: 0.0
Total Difference:  -8.8

I'm disappointed, but not really surprised by this week's numbers. I had been so hoping to continue my losing trend, but I'm guessing my break from routine this last weekend really screwed me over.
To top it off, I leave for a 4-day vacation tomorrow. I don't get to have my healthy, happy food. My parents didn't ask for my input on food. I dread to think how bad my weight will be by the time I return Sunday night. I'm bringing an exercise dvd, and there should be plenty of walking and hiking this weekend, so I really hope it won't be too bad. My lack of loss is really bumming me out.
I'm also trying to learn to do more push ups. They make me feel so week, in the core and arms :( Which I know isn't true, but damn are they hard.
 Since I forgot to factor in the vacation for my plans for the Shed and Shred, I guess I only get a week and a half of the combined levels, grr. But it's not practical to try it in a cabin shared with 8 other people. I'll be doing kickboxing, since they are 20 minutes and easy to fit in. Again, hiking and walking lots.
I didnt take progress pics this week, and I keep thinking maybe I shouldn't try next monday either since I'll be coming back from vacation.
I also blanked that starting the last weekend this month, my weekends are no longer available to workout with my dvds. That whole camping, lack of power thing. But I should be able to be very active on the weekends.
But I'm not going to worry about planning it til the beginning of next month.
Need to go pack.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

WWI and Wedding Dress update

Today's Weight: 202.4
 Difference: -1.8
Total Difference:  -8.8

Well the fitting went ok. Everyone was talking about my weight loss, and how you could see it. I dont see it, and yes I have pics to compare. Blah... Although having your friend demanding that you lose no more weight before the wedding is annoying beyond belief. My weightloss is hard enough without the idea that i shouldnt lose too much. oi. I told my mom the most I could lose before the wedding is 8 more pounds. Of course, since I had to have some of it taken in, Im so terrified I'll gain weight back. Stupid brain monsters, I refuse to gain back weight.
I truly think that 1400 net was the best choice I made. :)
I've been wondering though how much the cutting down on starchy carbs may be helping, It's been about 3 weeks; its been 5 weeks since I have had more than a sip of a mixed drink.  I'm still out about how I think that's affecting my wieghtloss

Thursday, August 2, 2012

NSV, What would I say

Yay, I have a non scale victory today, I tried on my 16s and I can button them without forcing it. So freaking excited, I felt this day would never come. They are 16 misses, which I believe, I could be wrong, are the same as 16w's . But to me, it still counts, since my mom always said they were just shaped to accommodate hips better, and I have got hips, always have. So yay yay yay!

I keep thinking of things I would say to my younger self, when it comes to health. I spent high school miserable about myself, my size. These days I keep thinking I'd love to be that small again, and I wish I knew then some of what I knew now.  Like how the weight I was at wasn't that bad, and if I worked on it I could lose it. I want to go back to my younger self and tell her no matter how tasty top ramen is, I shouldn't spend the summer eating 2 of them a day. I want to tell her she shouldn't eat 3 of the posado chimichagas, and really I should bring my lunch to school instead of giving up making them. Or that I shouldn't have stopped walking the 2 miles home, I could make a game of sprinting and walking to see how far I could go.... I initially stopped walking home because of half baked suicidal thoughts of jumping in front of a car. Then I was just lazy. I would tell her breakfast would help with that hunger I felt as I lazed around campus hours after school let out.
And then I wonder how much would be changed in my life if I knew all that then? I was a freshman 11 years ago.  My life has already radically changed in 5 years, and that was without future self coming and talking to me.
But I know it now and I try to make the most out of what I learn, and have learned.

Enough rambling and musing, off to exercise. Which I have been putting off because eek.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

WWI, Explorations

Today's Weight: 204.2
 Difference: -2.0
Total Difference:  -7.0

Today is the start of..... Extreme Shed and Shred!  I will be taking some measurements in a bit to compare in 4 weeks. and this will be a busy month. Because of that, I will only be holding myself to 4-6 days of exercise, instead of 5-6 days and feeling guilty if its not six.
Currently, the plan is to do Level 1 for a week, Level 2 the next, and for the last 2 weeks do the combined video. oh the finger biting of change.
I'm so glad I'm not s sore today, yesterday and Monday evening I was dang sore, due to 2 workouts [my last day of mini shred, and a JM kick-box session] on Monday and being sore from yoga on Sunday, we did poses that made my ribs hurt.
September will be the month of Ripped in 30.
Also, I will be getting a new scale tonight. Yay!

Today I will be experimenting with vegan baking. I've done some vegan cooking, today will be baking. Not only will it be good to find more alternatives, I might find some recipes my parents ca use this upcoming faire season. I also have a few recipes from  SCD diet, because I'm trying to find tasty ways to replace how much starch and grain based flours is currently in my diet. Not all, but yeah.

 On today's list to make:
Vegan Brownies  [might someday make them with almond flour, or brown rice flour]
Raspberry Almond Cake  [made with black berries since I couldn't get raspberries]
Protien Truffle Bombs