Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I'm going to say something frowned upon in the fitspo world:
I do not love my body.
For me, I do not subscribe to the popular saying that if I don't love my body now when I lose weight I won't love it then.
I'm not saying this is a wrong thing to strive for, but I'm sorry, it's not for me.
I love me. Ok, that took years. But I do, I love me, I love my personality, but no, I don't love this body I'm in. I'm working on changing as a sign of love to myself, I want my health. I detest my body's current state because it represents years of self abuse. I used food in all the wrong ways, purposely ignored opportunities to learn about health and how to change my ways. It represents years of self perpetuating hate, hate the body, hurt the body. I couldn't learn to love me because I fell into the trap of body is worth.
Now, I see a body I'm not happy with and I use it to get my butt moving because there are days, especially heat wave days, I have no desire to work out. But I look at myself and know if I don't like what I see, I need to change it. I can't complain about this body if I'm not willing to work on it. I will work out the rest of my life because I chose to make that my life style.
I also no longer hate myself for not working out when I don't get to and or/put it off. I don't hate myself when my diet is not my ideal. I forgive myself and move on. I don't need that negativity in my life anymore.
One day, I will like my body, and then love it, but for now, I want my health back.

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