Thursday, August 2, 2012

NSV, What would I say

Yay, I have a non scale victory today, I tried on my 16s and I can button them without forcing it. So freaking excited, I felt this day would never come. They are 16 misses, which I believe, I could be wrong, are the same as 16w's . But to me, it still counts, since my mom always said they were just shaped to accommodate hips better, and I have got hips, always have. So yay yay yay!

I keep thinking of things I would say to my younger self, when it comes to health. I spent high school miserable about myself, my size. These days I keep thinking I'd love to be that small again, and I wish I knew then some of what I knew now.  Like how the weight I was at wasn't that bad, and if I worked on it I could lose it. I want to go back to my younger self and tell her no matter how tasty top ramen is, I shouldn't spend the summer eating 2 of them a day. I want to tell her she shouldn't eat 3 of the posado chimichagas, and really I should bring my lunch to school instead of giving up making them. Or that I shouldn't have stopped walking the 2 miles home, I could make a game of sprinting and walking to see how far I could go.... I initially stopped walking home because of half baked suicidal thoughts of jumping in front of a car. Then I was just lazy. I would tell her breakfast would help with that hunger I felt as I lazed around campus hours after school let out.
And then I wonder how much would be changed in my life if I knew all that then? I was a freshman 11 years ago.  My life has already radically changed in 5 years, and that was without future self coming and talking to me.
But I know it now and I try to make the most out of what I learn, and have learned.

Enough rambling and musing, off to exercise. Which I have been putting off because eek.

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