On Thursday I went back to gym, about the same time as I had on Tuesday, and I noticed some of the same people. This felt nice, that these would be the regulars I would seeing. I observed, though, two very different and distinct attitudes in the 'skinny' women.
There were the women with the the determined shoulders and slightly exhausted expression. You can watch there jaws and lips twitch ever so as they count, and calculate every step and rep. As they move from machine to machine, they may think about wiping them down, but more often they're swiggin' water from their bottles as they walk to the next exercise; they don't see the machine. They see what it's done for them.
Then, there are the women with a detached, unconcerned look on their faces, shoulders taut with being worked but relaxed when released. They glance from TV to ipod screen. As they go from each machine to the next, there is an assured sway to the hips and ass. They spend less time than expected on each machine, seeming to choose each at random. They head out after 30 minutes, with maybe some glow of sweat.
The first kind I've known, and includes my sister. They've had to work to become 'skinny'. They appreciate the work it takes, and the access they pay to have for the machines that aid them. [at home vs gym is another topic, another post]
The second kind I've not known, per se. I've plenty of skinny friends, none of them attend a gym. or exercise regularly. But the general attitude I've known.
Of course there were plenty of overweight women like myself, and luckily there's no [neurotic] fear of judgment there. We all got there somehow, and are doing something to fix it. whoohoo.
I think next time I will check out how I feel in the co-ed section of the gym. I was doing Jillian's gym workout [first of 3], and about 1 minute before I needed to switch off of my elliptical machine for the one stair-stepper in the women's side, someone else got it. So instead of 20 minutes of heart pounding, my-god I'm dying exercise, I went into the mirrored weight room and used all of the leg machines and got to stare at myself and feel oh so wonderful about my fall back.
Now I'm trying to phase out my drinking diet soda since everyone is so down on aspartame, and for a while I wasn't drinking it. I love tea but in the volume I drink it, it becomes tedious because I can drink about 3-5 gallons a day. [that and water].
Also read recently that "Tip: Recent studies found prescription-antihistamine users are more likely to be overweight. Drugs like Olanzapine & Risperidone carry the side effect of blocking weight loss. Research shows that blocking histamines, although good for managing hay-fever, can contribute to over eating & slow fat breakdown.If you take these drugs, talk to your Dr. about natural alternatives & environmental fixes such as dust proofing."
And while I don't take the prescriptions, when the weight suddenly jumped back on [I maintained for a long time] 2 factors happened. I was taking antihistamine at prescription strength to help me sleep and to help with my allergies on a very regular basis. I also spent 2 months drinking heavily on the weekends, especially after having an epiphany where I realized while taking care of my godson and another charge the same age all weekend long several time [and at a faire, we were camping] that I shouldn't be a parent, and since I've longed to be a parent for a long time, this really upset me.
So I'm hoping between a new bed for better sleep and no booz, things will get better.